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I was given the opportunity to take part in an educational program dedicated to giving people who have been incarcerated second chances and leadership skills. However, they do accept people who are in need of other resources such as myself who don't have a criminal record as well. Initially, I was grateful to have been accepted. To be given a free education, a free uniform, and free advice from the staff. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that this business would be corrupt like everyone else. 

 

I came to the interview with high hopes. Looking to forward my hobby in cooking. When I found out about housing and other resources I thought this was meant to be. However, I am learning that you shouldn't believe everything your eyes see or every opprotunity that comes your way. This experience has taught me to believe in MYSELF and know what's best for ME. 

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It was mentioned in the flyer/interview that there would be free housing. In the interview, it was said to be within 4 weeks or 30 days of the program. I was ecstatic but I knew I needed resources as soon as possible. I knew I had to wait. I was willing to do that. They had to see that I was committed to coming to school everyday, doing/turning in my homework, and applying what I learned in class to the craft. 

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I did exactly that (as I did in high school). Something else followed though.....envy and jealousy from others....especially from those in power. My whole life I have had classmates/other people smile in my face but lie to me. Talk nicely/kindly in my face but talk shit behind my back. You are probably wondering, "Why would grown ass adults purposely hinder a 25 year old woman's growth?" I'll tell you why.

 

Having a staff that has gone through so much....been incarcerated, gotten in trouble, went through the trenches but are in a position of power to now see a girl who has also been through so much.....achieve many things in her life, continuing to be nice and sweet towards others.....show a respectable way of dealing with people...never showing violence towards others...... doesn't have a criminal record.....doesn't smoke or drink who is moving forward....can trigger someone. Being light skinned, having many accomplishments, being confident in her essence without being cocky or showing off.... can actually trigger some insecurities within others. I didn't want to believe this for so long. I had to accept that others may have not done the work to grow on their journey and love themselves for who they are.  This was hard to face during the whole process but it was mentioned during the interview that I could get housing earlier if I did not have a permanent home. That the program would work with me and try their hardest. This was deemed untrue.

I was in the program for a few weeks and showed them that I can arrive to class everyday on time, do/turn in my homework assignments on time, and still study/focus in class despite not getting enough sleep the day before (BECAUSE I WAS HOMELESS). From either doing things for others, figuring out where to stay, or studying.....I still managed to come to class and learn. Of course this was used against me. As I was "sleeping" in class when I would just close/open my eyes. As I was "not paying attention" even though I had notes on my handout sheets/notebook. Yet, a young man was literally ASLEEP with his eyes fully closed consistently in class and I was the one that got pointed out.....

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I was told I could shower in one of their buildings and to have the RA call one of the staff members to verify I was a student. Just not assigned in the dorms yet. However I found out there was another building that had a shower I could use. I used this resource for a little until I found someone I could stay with for a few weeks. Soon, that privillge was taken away from me but I heard another student was using that same resource while I couldn't. 

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I was told they would be able to give me a new phone and when one of the staff members gave me a phone that was in their office, I realized it had a pin on it. I asked Jennifer Santora if I could get the pin combo to unlock the phone. She tried several combinations, but none had worked. I suggested she stop before the phone got locked out. She responded with going to a phone store to possibly remove the pin. However a phone company can't remove a pin from a phone that wasn't issued to me but issued to another student who never kept this phone. 

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Even though I had some incidences that caused me to have some emotions within me, I never gave up on housing. I chose to speak to someone in the staff to help me with housing because at this time, I didn't know how much longer I could go without having a permanent home to rest my head at. I explained my story and my sitaution. She was very empathic and told me along the lines that she was going to fight for this...for me. I was told that the following Monday, I should bring my belongings because I would have housing. I come in that Monday (with my things) and was told I wasn't getting housing. I was devastated. Even though I had been nice, committed, and respectful......I was told I had to complete a mental health evaluation. I thought to myself, where did this come from? Did they think I was "mentally unstable" because I choose to go my own path/distance myself from living with toxic family? Could they think I was "crazy" because I didn't have a home to sleep in at night? BECAUSE I WAS HOMELESS? Was it because my family spread rumors and lies about me that not only got me a misdiagnosis but filed a false missing person's report on me? I asked myself, "no one else is getting a mental evalutaion...... why should I?" I was told by the person who runs housing that I had to complete a telehealth evaluation. Due to this program and my job having the same hours of operation, I could not be in two places at once. I had to stop by my job. So I told them after I completed class that I had an obligation and I could not stay after class. They told me to do the call on Wednesday. As they told me about the telehealth evalutaion, something didn't feel right. I assumed that the telehealth call was scheduled and when I finally agreed to do it later on, I was in their office for around an hour contacting mental health centers to see if we can do an on spot telehealth appointment. Of course, it did not happen and there were no open appointments that day. Earlier, we were at one of Edwin's locations and the staff wanted to switch to another location. I expressed that I felt more comfortable staying in one place because my ride was picking me up there/I felt more comfortable there. The staff's response was that I had to be considerate of their time and that they didn't have all day. HOWEVER, they waste around an hour of my time calling places for a telehealth appointment that wasn't even scheduled. WASTING not only my time but my ride's time as well. At the end, I was told that there were walk in evaluations at "The Centers for Families and Children." I asked if I could come in the next day since they were so persistent on taking me. I wanted to see if they were on bullshit and I went in myself that very day. I was told by two people at separate desks that NO locations have walk ins. 

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From then I became extremely hesitant and skeptical knowing that if I was told two different things about walk ins....somebody lying. I expressed to that I don't mind doing the evaluation. I just need to know the location, the appointment time, the person's name evaluating me, the person's degree/educational background, and to get in a car with someone who I know will get me from point A to point B safely. Why was I speaking up for myself? If I was wrongly labeled with a misdiagnosis once....if I made the mistake of trusting a doctor who put me on meds for 6-7 years which caused me to suffer with horrible side effects such as having involuntary eye movements.....I will be DAMNED if I go through that again. Go through something again? I can't ask questions I have a right to know, express my comfort level, and simply speak up for myself? In the end, I was labeled "difficult." 

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On my very last day, I was supposed to work a fundraiser. Where we were suppose to be presented in a professional manner. To my surprise, my pants had a huge rip in them. I was quick to think on my feet and asked if my friend could take me to the store to get tools to fix my pants. My friend agreed. He picked me up while playing loud black music and before driving of.... we fist bumped. After successfully fixing my pants, I felt good knowing I was able to overcome an issue for the sake of my educational career. Shockingly, I was called to the office for staff to state that they wanted to drug test me. They thought since I got in a car with a black man that has dreads, playing loud black music, and fist bumping him before pulling off....that it looked like a drug deal. I spoke up for myself and said the truth. That it was NOT a drug deal. Despite me expressing that basically this translates as a racist assumption, I did not want to do the test knowing that I do not deserve this amount of rudeness/judgement. Initially, I told them I did not want to do it. One staff member gave me an ultimatum. "Do the test or leave." I did not want to do the test and questioned if the results would come back instantly. I left the office. Once I found out the results were instant, I agreed to take the test. The staff member was petty and did not want me to do it anymore. So I took action and spoke to the owner of Edwin's, Brandon. I told him what happened, most of what I had been through with this particular staff member. I asked if I could take the test. He said to move forward with it. I asked for water, a requirement to pee in a cup......and was told by that staff member "no." I asked for water, a basic necessity.....something that makes up 75% of our bodies.....and I get denied something that is required for living things/creatures/beings to survive? ON A DAY TO DAY BASIS? I went to the owner and told him I was denied WATER. I got the green light to get water to proceed with the instant pee in a cup drug test. I drank the water/took the cup, and went into the bathroom. When I closed the bathroom door, I was told to open it and was denied my privacy to pee in a bathroom. Did she think I was going to give her fake pee when I wasn't notified of this drug testing in advance? She tells me to put the cup of pee on the back of the toilet when finished. Proceeding to close the bathroom stall door, I peed in the cup. I wanted to know the results so I peeled them to see that I was FULLY CLEAN. No drugs, no alcohol, no ANYTHING in my system. She heard me peeling the strip to see results and she said to not peel them...to peel it afterwards "together." Then she said "give me the cup." I open the stall and see her right outside the stall. Without any room between me in the bathroom stall or the staff member outside the stall waiting for my pee, I didn't wipe the cup/put it under soap/water as she did not provide any room for me to do so. I place the cup in her hand. She immediately plays the victim and pleads it was "assault." I told the owner that I was COMPLETELY CLEAN and that the cup was proof. I do not do any drugs/have anything "suspicious" in my system. The staff member continues to play the victim and starts stating lies as she always has. Ultimately, I was asked to leave. It came off as if it was just for the day. 

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On my way out, I went out in style. I thanked everyone for the chance to be there and said around the lines for everyone to enjoy the day. Even when I was accused of doing drugs based on racist judgements, I still maintained my composure. 

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What is shocking is this staff member, Heather "Peterson" or "Pederson," (at this point I don't care how your last name is spelled) who spoke to the class on coming in and out of jail, being incarcerated, never having a second chance to prove her worth to get housing...how she sought for that chance....no one giving her that chance because of her background; lie about information pertaining to the health appointment/not give me housing is WILD. To judge ME because I have a misdiagnosis in my background resulting in the assumption that I MUST BE "mentally unstable." 

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Before I left the fundraiser, I was told to come at 9am on 7/17/23 to meet with this same staff member. I came with a friend that day, called the establishment before entering, and one of the staff members opened the door. He said Heather was on her way with noticeable eyes indicating that he was high. The very SAME thing that I got accused for and was proven innocent. We waited for 30 mins, once again wasting my time/my friend's time. She played the victim once again and said it was "assault!" She stated that "I was petty." She asked me to leave the property or she would call the police. I stayed knowing I had done nothing wrong. My friend advocated for me and spoke to the staff alone. Once it was over, my friend stated the staff said I was "fighting with girls" which has to be one of the most absurd comments I have ever heard in my life.  This was my breaking point as I could not take the immaturity of this business. I didn't step in that building at all that day. 

 

To have myself "clocked out" at 4am from school, to getting my uniform shoe size/shoe color wrong, to having a staff member say students need to get drug tested before entering the dorms that hasn't happened in Edwin's history, to being told I did not need to attend the housing meeting because I need to get an evaluation first.....is IT for me. To be in class all the time/ON TIME but get clocked in 2 min late is annoying. Knowing that I was told not to come in if the staff doesn't open the door, asking them to adjust the time so that this business knows I am on time, and being denied that.....is frustrating. To know I spoke up for yourself because I know every little thing will be used against me from experiences is not something anybody should be concerned about. No one should have to think like this.

 

The icing on the cake was calling into my program an hour early to say I will not be coming in on the day, 07/18/23, because I have to figure out where to stay (BECAUSE I WAS HOMELESS). I had the intention of making up this school day on another day as stated in class by staff. Finally, I was clearly and precisely told directly that I was no longer in the program. 

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Looking at the positive side, I know that this was a learning lesson and that this wasn't meant to be. I am not meant to dedicate my whole career to being in a kitchen. This was an eye opening lesson to know that I have to follow my passions. That I had to step off course to know how to steer right back on track. 

 

I wanted to share my story because I know I am not alone. Women face these struggles more than you know. PEOPLE face these struggles. Hopefully one story, (my story) opens your eyes to show how nasty businesses/humans can be. Stay humble and appreciate your journey. Everything happens for a reason(: